2009年4月7日星期二

Exploration Essay

Mya Chan
Exploration is Important for Countries

_____ Exploration is important for countries and can influence countries very much. Countries can find useful products by exploration. Exploration is a dangerous but really helpful task. If the exploration comes back successfully, explorer can take much useful resources. Every significant exploration could push the country's development. It might influence the land, the population, or the culture in a country. What products were found can influence a country? Approaches and foods and culture can make the country progress. They are three examples. In one word, exploration is really important.
_____Approaches between countries are really important. It can promote the relationship between countries. Countries can exchange and disseminate their special and colorful culture by the approach. Visibly, the approach is like an important bridge, but how to find this important bridge. Answer is exploration. In the history of the world, many approaches that were found had given many benefits to countries. For instance, Zhang si had found the Silk Road Marco Polo traveled to China along the Silk Road; he had made Chinese silk well-known. Jean Zhen had gone to Japan and disseminated Chinese culture, he had gotten reverence from Japanese. Marco Polo had gone to China for several years, he had written a book about the time that he had spent in China. This book made many foreigners know China and want to visit China. What ever people want to do, visit or disseminate, approaches are indispensable. So, the conclusion is approaches between countries are really important.
_____Foods are important for human. In China, old people often say foods are like sky for people. Every country has their special and immovable foods. Foods also need to be found and exchange. What foods belong to different countries that I know? For example, Chinese like to eat noodles and dumpling, Canadian like to eat salmon, Korean like to eat rice and pickled vegetable; Japanese like to eat sashimi... Western people like to eat cold and rawish foods, eastern people like to eat hot and ripe foods. Really different! Really colorful! What can help people to find the food? The answer is approaches. How to find approaches? Exploration is the solution of this question. For instance, Cabot had found fishes that people could eat. It is a good example to prove this thought. Now, people are in different countries like eating the foreign food very much. Merit should belong to the exploration. It made explorer find the approach between two countries, and then, people can exchange the products, including foods.
_____Exploration also can influence the culture. People in different countries can exchange their colorful cultures. For example, Canada has "China Town", words in Japan, many countries celebrate Christmas Day... Cartier talked to Indian and used knives to exchange furs with Indians. Exploration can make people go to new region, find new products, make new friends. And then, people can communicate. People can get many benefits from exploration. So, exploration is important for the culture.
_____Exploration is really important. It is like a bridge. Communicating with the other countries, exchanging products ... If you want to get something, you need to pay very much, although people do not like to pay. Exploration is one of things that people can pay. People can get products that they really need to have by exploration. It can help people find approaches to promote the relationship. It can help people to find more foods that can make people healthier. It can influence the culture. A country can't lack the exploration.

1 条评论:

  1. The use of the word "approaches" is overused. I don't know if it makes sense to use approaches for your essay. Make sure to read the meaning of the word.

    Each paragraph has a lot of ideas. It sounds like a list of ideas but you don't talk about any of them in detail. You need to spend more time talking about one idea in the paragraph. Listing ideas is not enough to get a higher mark.

    I like your idea of food but be careful. Don't stereotype different groups of people. Maybe you can say "some people" or "most people".

    Use transitional words and phrases to show your writing moves from one idea to another.

    23/40 I am glad you finally have the structure of the essay. Don't use your dictionary so much. You can do it!

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